


Whatevers

by ivycross



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-19
Updated: 2013-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-15 11:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/849265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivycross/pseuds/ivycross
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim just wants to go back to his quarters, but get trapped in the lift with Spock. He find outs that his choice of words make his sciences officer laugh, so Jim rolls with it.</p>
<p>Written for someone on Tumblr who said that they had wanted a fic with Jim making Spock laugh because he said whatevers. This is crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatevers

**Author's Note:**

> Now beta read by the wonderful [Pamdizzle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamdizzle/pseuds/pamdizzle)

 

It had been such a long day on the bridge. Not bad, just long and Jim couldn’t wait to have five minutes to himself.  He inhaled deep and slowly as the time to change shifts drew closer. Finally, the beta shift started to flow in from the doors of the turbolift and Kirk sighed.

He waited and filled in the commander that would be taking over the CONN before making a beeline for the lift. As the door started to close Jim smiled, but then was startled by a hand catching the doors.  The lifted door reopened and Spock stepped inside. He gave a nod to Jim, who returned it, and gave the command for the lift to proceed to level five.

Jim shut his eyes as the lift moved down and he leaned against the wall.

“Captain?”  Jim opened his eyes and turned them toward his First Officer.

“Yes Mister Spock?” Jim rumbled. He really hoped that Spock wasn’t about to fill his head with a bunch of science jargon because he was tired and he really wanted to sit somewhere quiet for a few minutes.  Spock leaned over and hit the controls for the lift. It suddenly stopped and Jim bit the inside of his mouth to stop himself from groaning.

“Captain, I would like to speak with you about the events which transpired two point seven days ago. I find your continued disregard for protocol most troubling.” As Spock droned on Jim could fee his eyes threatening to cross. Oh gods, this was worse than the science jargon. He straightened and cleared his throat.

“I understand, Mr. Spock, and I would be more than happy to discuss this with you. Perhaps you can come by my quarters later this evening and we can go over everything then?”  Jim nodded encouragingly at Spock, who frowned ever so slightly.

“I beg your pardon, Captain. I failed to consider that you may be busy at present. That would be acceptable.”

Jim smiled and nodded, but something inside him that really didn’t want him to get the peace and quiet that he sought suddenly blurted out, “Quite alright, Spock. I’m not really busy right now. I just don’t feel like listening to you harp on me.”

As the words left his mouth Jim felt his blood draining from his face.  Beside him in the lift, Spock arched an eyebrow.

“I see. Well then, Captain, I suggest we proceed to discuss the matter _now_.”  Jim sighed and fell back against the wall of the lift again.

“What evers,” he muttered.  Spock paused at this and frowned.

“I am sorry, Captain.” Jim rolled his eyes and waved a hand.

“What _evers_ , Spock. Get on with it.”

“What evers?” Spock repeated slowly, drawing out the syllable as if he was tasting them. Jim huffed and groaned.

“Really, Spock? Are you going to lecture me about my vocabulary too?”

“No Captain, but I am rather amused by your choice of words.”

“Huh?” Jim straightened again and looked at Spock who was sucking his lips in what looked like an attempt not to laugh.  Jim shook his head.

“Are you laughing at me, Commander?” Jim voice was full of disbelief and his blue eyes were wide. Spock quickly shook his head.

“No, Captain.  As a Vulcan, I do not laugh.” Jim studied Spock for a moment and narrowed his eyes.

“Yeah, what evers.” There was a snort from Spock and Jim started to chuckle.

“Vulcans don’t laugh my ass,” Jim said and Spock looked mortified and flustered.

“When you say such illogical things, Captain…” Jim grinned.

“ _What evers, Spock_!” He made his tone sound young and bratty which gave him the desired effect. Spock laughed openly. It was not a loud sound and not what one would call knee slapping. But for a Vulcan it might as well have been. Jim laughed hard as Spock covered his mouth to stifle his giggles.

“Oh my gawds, Spock! Are you, like, laughing at me? As if! What evers!” Jim had watched enough old earth films to know how to talk like a snotty teenage girl and was laying it on thick. At this point Spock’s shoulders were shaking and Jim was willing to swear on everything in Starfleet that his First Officer had tears in his eyes.

Jim grinned as he watched Spock silently die from laughter. After a moment Spock took his hand from his mouth, wiped the tears from his eyes, and took a deep breath. He pulled down on the helm of his shirt and exhaled slowly.

“Captain.”

“Spock?”  Jim waited as Spock turned towards him.

“Perhaps we should postpone this discussion.” Jims could see that Spock was trying to pull himself together, so Jim nodded politely.

“If you think that would be wise, Commander.  When would be good for you?”

Spock swallowed and did another slow exhale. “I believe after nine would be ideal. I find that I need to return to my quarters and meditate for a time.” Once again Jim gave a polite nod.

“Sounds good, Spock.  I will see you then.” Jim hit the controls and the turbolift door opened. He stepped out and with one last look at his First Officer Jim headed towards his quarters. He felt better now, he really did and while he no longer craved the solitude of his rooms, he did want to go through the data base and pull up some old films.  He smiled and hummed as he opened his cabin door.

_Surely the database had “Clueless” on file?_ He thought to himself. _That would be so fetch. Oh wait… wrong movie._


End file.
